One thing we are going to start doing on the blog is sharing stories of people at New Life. These may be real “Yay God!” stories where we celebrate great things God has done. They could also be stories of people still in process sharing their struggle as they discern the next steps God has for them. The following story, shared by Brooke, tells how she sought God through the pain she was experiencing and how a teacher who may have no idea the impact she made on Brooke has made a lasting impression on Brooke.
Our encouragement to Brooke is to continue pursuing God as she has been. He is good. Our paths may be complicated and often painful, but He is still good. He loves us through it all and when we seek Him, He will be found by us.
I was listening to Sean’s message on the New Life App archive for this past Sunday. And by the way, I use this archive app almost every evening. I went to a Christian School, which now I believe I completely took advantage of the spiritual benefits. Anyway I remember my teacher Mrs. Ritorto said that when she would wake up in the middle of the night and her mind was strong on any thought it was God, and she would pray. I have taken this through my life, even before I became spiritual. Now when I wake, which is often, I pray and listen to archive. My prayer is what is it that I am needing to deal with personally that has woken me from my sleep. This is a bit off topic but to be honest this is where my spirituality has taken me.
Years ago, I loved drugs, I loved anything that would get me high. Another thing I was addicted to was an abusive relationship. I missed it when I had escaped it and I hated it when I was in it. 9 years of leaving and going back, leaving and going back. I numbed the pain of leaving with drugs and alcohol and I numbed the pain with drugs and alcohol of the pain I felt when I was there. 7 pregnancies, 4 abortions and 3 kids now, I guess to make the longest story short, I sought God through the toughest times when I was bruised, broke, hungry, high, hurt, suffering and pregnant. He broke my hip. This was the pain that God gave me to fully bring me to him. This was the physical pain, the absolute worst pain I had ever felt or could ever have ever imagined in my life, and the emotional pain that came later. When I would look in the mirror with my walker, pregnant with my son, unable to walk without it. I sought the Lord, I sought God, I sought Jesus Christ. I remember praying for a peace of mind. Always I prayed for a peace of mind. It still tears me up when I pray for a peace of mind. I am just at the midst and I wish and pray and seek so much in my spiritual life. My fear, my hard times, my suffering and my experiences have brought me to God and Jesus Christ. What is funny is that I am actually thankful that I got my hip broken, sometimes it is so surreal to me, but it was the best thing that has happened to me.
I am seeking more spiritually, I pray for and understand experience as a guidance as a teacher, yet it can be scary. This too shall pass and all things have a meaning and a benefit, even the worst pain. Which is very scary. I look back on my life and I was quite a stubborn one, even now, though I have become better at not thinking I know everything because, actually, I don’t! I am working on a Bachelor’s of Psychology, but Spiritual Psychology. This has been the gift from God, for now! We all know never make plans, because God will sure laugh. 🙂
-Brooke