Often a misunderstanding of my sphere of influence (what I can actually impact) –AND an over estimation of what I’m actually responsible for.

Like a house of cards, far too many factors are completely out of our control

  1. At the core, control is really a matter of identity! We ask ourselves 2 questions:
    Who am I really? (What was I made for?)
    Am I good enough? (Do I have what it takes?)

Almost always, people don’t know the answer to the first question but they know the answer to the second is NO.

Exodus 2:11-14 – He saw an Egyptian striking a Hebrew, one of his people. 12 Looking all around and seeing no one, he struck the Egyptian dead and hid him in the sand. 13 The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, “Why are you attacking your neighbor?” [e]

14 “Who made you a commander and judge over us?” the man replied. “Are you planning to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?”

1 Samuel 13:4-14 CSB – And all Israel heard the news, “Saul has attacked the Philistine garrison, and Israel is now repulsive to the Philistines.” Then the troops were summoned to join Saul at Gilgal.

5 The Philistines also gathered to fight against Israel: three thousand[g]chariots, six thousand horsemen, and troops as numerous as the sand on the seashore. They went up and camped at Michmash, east of Beth-aven.[h]

6 The men of Israel saw that they were in trouble because the troops were in a difficult situation. They hid in caves, in thickets, among rocks, and in holes and cisterns. 7 Some Hebrews even crossed the Jordan to the land of Gad and Gilead.

Saul, however, was still at Gilgal, and all his troops were gripped with fear. 8 He waited seven days for the appointed time that Samuel had set,but Samuel didn’t come to Gilgal, and the troops were deserting him. 9 So Saul said, “Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings.” Then he offered the burnt offering.

10 Just as he finished offering the burnt offering, Samuel arrived. So Saul went out to greet him, 11 and Samuel asked, “What have you done?”

Saul answered, “When I saw that the troops were deserting me and you didn’t come within the appointed days and the Philistines were gathering at Michmash, 12 I thought, ‘The Philistines will now descend on me at Gilgal, and I haven’t sought the Lord’s favor.’ So I forced myself to offer the burnt offering.”

13 Samuel said to Saul, “You have been foolish. You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you. It was at this time that the Lordwould have permanently established your reign over Israel, 14 but now your reign will not endure. 

People start to receive identity & worth from the world (job, family, kids, hobbies)
Now, 1) False identity and 2) False belief about self worth…FEAR enters

One reason I control: I need to PROVE who I am & that I’m good enough!

Control is also rooted in a fear of Death

  • When we don’t know who we are, we are always afraid of ceasing to exist
  • We fear the death of: a job, a relationship, a family, a marriage, a reputation

If we are honest, we control because we don’t trust God to do it!

Moses tried to be who God made him, but he did it by controlling the situation (Ex. 2)

  • Moses couldn’t be who God made him to be without the burning bush experience!
Not ALL control is BAD:
  • Kids still need instruction. Leaders need to lead. Managers need to manage.
  • Good control is obedience to God.
Understanding what we are responsible for is vital to mental and spiritual health
  • We simply obey and God is on the hook for the fruit!
  • Trying to control what God controls is a HEAVY burden to bear!
  • When we take on God’s responsibility, it KILLS us! (heart disease leading cause of death!)
You may have a bad habit of control if:
  • you get upset when someone doesn’t do what you ask
  • you obsess over everything turning out “right”
  • you become angry when things don’t go as planned
  • you command people to stop or start doing things
  • you experience anxiety when things slip from your grasp.
  • you struggle to accept people’s “no” and convince them of our “yes”
  • you need to have the last word
  • you continually explain yourself
  • you worry everything is spinning out of control
  • you resist trying others’ ideas
  • you interject your thoughts into most conversations
  • you yell or nag

Matthew 11:28-30 CSB“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 –

  • 11:29 Yoke= ζυγόν (Zugos) (dzoo-gos’)- a wooden bar placed over the neck of a pair of animals so they can pull together/what unites (joins) two people to move (work) together as one.
  • 11:29 Learn= μάθετε (Manthanó) (man-than’-o)- learningkeyfacts; gaining “fact-knowledge as someone learns from experience, often with the implication of reflection – ‘come to realize’ (Root word for discipleship)
  • 11:30 Burden= φορτίον (Phortion) (for-tee’-on)-a burden which must be carried by the individual, i.e. as something personal and hence is not transferrable. Used in secular Greek for the cargo of a ship.

Galatians 6:2 CSB – Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

  • Burden= βάρη (baros) (bar’-os)- troublesome moral faults; the meaning is, ‘bear one another’s faults’
  • Trying to control creates anxiety and stress, often leading to depression!

STRESS is one of the leading factors to heart disease and cancer
STRESS leads to both physical AND spiritual death

We are called to bear one another’s faults!!! BE the Church in both good times and bad! When someone messes up, walk with them through the consequences!\


Galatians 2:20 CSB – I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body,[a] I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20
–There is no need to fear death if you’ve already died! (Missionaries to Mauritania)

I no longer live – Surrender
Christ lives in me– Abide
Live by Faith – Hear Him and obey
Loves me; gave Himself up for me – I can trust Him. Obey with confidence

Psalm 23:5 CSB – “You prepare a table in the presence of my enemies…”


  • BAPTISM! (Time, Talent, Treasure) Commit with your actions!


  • Commit to reading the Word with someone else.

Learn to Hear from God

  • Join a Skill Acquisition Weekend (SAW) training

Build a Community to ‘Bear one Another’s Faults’

  • It’s not about teaching, it’s about training and loving well