“To the ancients, friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it.” – C.S. Lewis
How Genuine Friendships Develop
Introducing David
1 Samuel 16:17-23 CSB – Then Saul commanded his servants, “Find me someone who plays well and bring him to me.”
18 One of the young men answered, “I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the lyre. He is also a valiant man, a warrior, eloquent, handsome, and the Lord is with him.”
21, When David came to Saul and entered his service, Saul loved him very much, and David became his armor-bearer. 22 Then Saul sent word to Jesse: “Let David remain in my service, for he has found favor with me.” 23 Whenever the spirit from God came on Saul, David would pick up his lyre and play, and Saul would then be relieved, feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.
1 Samuel 17:3-4 CSB – The Philistines were standing on one hill, and the Israelites were standing on another hill with a ravine between them. 4 Then a champion named Goliath, from Gath, came out from the Philistine camp. He was nine feet, nine inches tall
1 Samuel 17:8-11 CSB – Choose one of your men and have him come down against me. 9 If he wins in a fight against me and kills me, we will be your servants. But if I win against him and kill him, then you will be our servants and serve us.”
10 Then the Philistine said, “I defy the ranks of Israel today. Send me a man so we can fight each other!” 11 When Saul and all Israel heard these words from the Philistine, they lost their courage and were terrified.
1 Samuel 17:32 CSB – Don’t let anyone be discouraged by him; your servant will go and fight this Philistine!”
1 Samuel 17:37 CSB – “The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”
1 Samuel 17:43-47 CSB – “Am I a dog that you come against me with sticks?” Then he cursed David by his gods. 44 “Come here,” the Philistine called to David, “and I’ll give your flesh to the birds of the sky and the wild beasts!”
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with a sword, spear, and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord of Armies, the God of the ranks of Israel—you have defied him.
46 Today, the Lord will hand you over to me. Today, I’ll strike you down, remove your head… Then all the world will know that Israel has a God, 47 and this whole assembly will know that it is not by sword or by spear that the Lord saves, for the battle is the Lord’s.
He will hand you over to us.”
Introducing Jonathan
1 Samuel 14:6-15 CSB – Jonathan said to the attendant who carried his weapons, “Come on, let’s cross over to the garrison of these uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will help us. Nothing can keep the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.…
….we’ll cross over to the men and then let them see us.
9 If they say, ‘Wait until we reach you,’ then we will stay where we are and not go up to them. 10 But if they say, ‘Come on up,’ then we’ll go up, because the Lord has handed them over to us—that will be our sign.”
The men of the garrison called to Jonathan and his armor-bearer. “Come on up, and we’ll teach you a lesson!” they said.
“Follow me,” Jonathan told his armor-bearer, “for the Lord has handed them over to Israel.”
13 Jonathan climbed up using his hands and feet, with his armor-bearer behind him. Jonathan cut them down, and his armor-bearer followed and finished them off. 14 In that first assault Jonathan and his armor-bearer struck down about twenty men in a half-acre field.
15 Terror spread through the Philistine camp
David & Jonathan are Bound Together by Shared Faith in God
The essence of friendship: a common quest, a shared vision, and a unified mission. Lewis said, “Friendship must be about something, even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominos or white mice … the common quest or vision unite friends …. You will not find the warrior, the poet … or the Christian by staring into his eyes as if he were your mistress: better fight beside him, read with him, argue with him, pray with him.” — C.S. Lewis
Matthew 6:33 CSB – But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.
Psalm 37:4 CSB – Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 CSB – And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
2 Corinthians 6:14 CSB – Do not be yoked together with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
Their Friendship is Severely Tested
1 Samuel 18:1 CSB – When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship and loved him as much as he loved himself.
Philippians 2:3b-4 CSB – …in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. 4 Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.
1 Samuel 18:2-4 CSB – Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father’s house.
3 Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. 4 Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt.
Galatians 6:2 CSB – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Samuel 18:6-15 CSB – As the troops were coming back, when David was returning from killing the Philistine, the women came out from all the cities of Israel to meet King Saul, singing and dancing with tambourines, with shouts of joy, and with three-stringed instruments. 7 As they danced, the women sang:
Saul has killed his thousands,
but David his tens of thousands.
8 Saul was furious and resented this song. “They credited tens of thousands to David,” he complained, “but they only credited me with thousands. What more can he have but the kingdom?”
9 So Saul watched David jealously from that day forward.
10 The next day an evil spirit sent from God came powerfully on Saul, and he began to rave inside the palace.
David was playing the lyre as usual, but Saul was holding a spear, 11 and he threw it, thinking, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David got away from him twice.
12 Saul was afraid of David, because the Lord was with David but had left Saul.
13 David led the troops 14 and continued to be successful in all his activities because the Lord was with him. 15 When Saul observed that David was very successful, he dreaded him. 16 But all Israel and Judah loved David
Psalm 2:1-2,4 CSB –
Why do the nations rage
and the peoples plot in vain?
2 The kings of the earth take their stand,
and the rulers conspire together
against the Lord and his Anointed One…
4 The one enthroned in heaven laughs;
the Lord ridicules them.
1 Samuel 19:4-7 CSB – Jonathan spoke well of David to his father, Saul. He said to him, “The king should not sin against his servant David. He hasn’t sinned against you; in fact, his actions have been a great advantage to you. 5 He took his life in his hands when he struck down the Philistine, and the Lord brought about a great victory for all Israel. You saw it and rejoiced, so why would you sin against innocent blood by killing David for no reason?”
Saul listened to Jonathan’s advice and swore an oath: “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be killed.” 7 So Jonathan summoned David and told him all these words. Then Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he served him as he did before.
Lesson: Godly friends stand up for you when you aren’t around
Ephesians 4:29 CSB – No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.
Saul Attacks David, Again
1 Samuel 20:1-3 CSB –
David fled from Naioth in Ramah and came to Jonathan and asked, “What have I done? What did I do wrong? How have I sinned against your father so that he wants to take my life?”
2 Jonathan said to him, “No, you won’t die. Listen, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without telling me. So why would he hide this matter from me? This can’t be true.”
3 But David said, “Your father certainly knows that I have found favor with you. He has said, ‘Jonathan must not know of this, or else he will be grieved.’” David also swore, “As surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live, there is but a step between me and death.”
Lesson: Godly friends tell you the truth, even though it’s not pleasant
Proverbs 25:12 CSB – A wise correction to a receptive ear
is like a gold ring or an ornament of gold.
Proverbs 27:5-6 CSB – Better an open reprimand than concealed love.
6 The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.
Proverbs 27:5-6, Better an open reprimand than concealed love.
1 Samuel 20:4 CSB – Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you say, I will do for you.”
1 Samuel 20:14-17 CSB – Jonathan asks David to make him a promise.
[When you become king…] If I continue to live, show me kindness from the Lord, but if I die, 15 don’t ever withdraw your kindness from my household—not even when the Lord cuts off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.”
Then Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the Lord hold David’s enemies accountable.” 17 Jonathan once again swore to David in his love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.
1 Samuel 20:30-33 CSB – Then Saul became angry with Jonathan and shouted, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you are siding with Jesse’s son to your own shame and to the disgrace of your mother? 31 Every day Jesse’s son lives on earth you and your kingship are not secure. Now send for him and bring him to me—he must die!”
Jonathan answered his father back, “Why is he to be killed? What has he done?”
33 Then Saul threw his spear at Jonathan to kill him, so he knew that his father was determined to kill David.
1 Samuel 20:41-42 CSB – When the servant had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone Ezel, fell facedown to the ground, and paid homage three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept with each other, though David wept more.
42 Jonathan then said to David, “Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the Lord when we said, ‘The Lord will be a witness between you and me and between my offspring and your offspring forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went into the city.
David’s “Band on the Run” years
Proverbs 17:17 CSB – A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.
1 Samuel 23:16-18 CSB – Then Saul’s son Jonathan came to David in Horesh and encouraged him in his faith in God,17 saying, “Don’t be afraid, for my father Saul will never lay a hand on you. You yourself will be king over Israel, and I’ll be your second-in-command. Even my father Saul knows it is true.” 18 Then the two of them made a covenant in the Lord’s presence. Afterward, David remained in Horesh, while Jonathan went home.
Lesson: Godly friends keep their commitments
2 Samuel 9:1 CSB – David asked, “Is there anyone remaining from the family of Saul I can show kindness to for Jonathan’s sake?”
2 Samuel 9:11b,13 CSB – So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table just like one of the king’s sons.
Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem because he always ate at the king’s table. His feet had been injured.
Psalm 15:1,4 CSB –
Lord, who can dwell in your tent?
Who can live on your holy mountain?
[one] who keeps his word whatever the cost
John 1:12 CSB – But to all who did receive him, he gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in his name,
